In tune with the Russians How to adapt faster in Russia?
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Pathways to adaptation. How do you deal with the stress of separation from loved ones?
What do I know about Russia? Will I find my place here? What will my life be filled with? These and many other questions foreigners ask themselves even before arriving in Russia. It is known that when you arrive in a new country, apart from a bunch of impressions and experiences, you will face a stage of psychological (internal) and socio-cultural (external) adaptation. The success and speed of your socio-cultural adaptation depend on various factors. Here are a few examples.
- Young people adapt to new environments more easily than the older ones.
- If the reason for migration is voluntary, such as work, education, the desire to realize your potential in another country, then adaptation will go faster, because you and your companions will be included in various groups in Russia: colleagues, classmates, or neighbors.
- Knowing the language makes it easier to adapt.
- The smaller the cultural distance (when native culture, everyday life, state and social structure are similar to those in Russia), the easier the adaptation is.
- The most difficult aspect is social circumstances, attitude towards migrants in general and towards migrants from your country in particular. Russian society is multinational and multicultural, which means that it is quite friendly and open to migrants. This is why adaptation goes on quite natural here.
Culture shock
Simply taking all the factors that contribute to rapid adaptation in Russia into account won’t be enough. Psychological comfort will only come after you have overcome culture shock. It can take different time for different people.
How do I realize that I am experiencing culture shock when I am in Russia?
You notice frequent mood swings – from joy and euphoria from having arrived in Russia, something you have long dreamed of, – to rejection, stress, and fear of contact with Russians. These feelings arise because of the inevitable difference between expectations and reality, because of the change of lifestyle and environment, and due to the absence of loved ones nearby. Culture shock can manifest itself even if you know a lot about Russia and Russians and have been here before.
How do you realize culture shock is over?
You will feel satisfaction and fullness of life in your new environment, as well as learn social skills. You will integrate into Russian society and be able to interact with people effectively. Your language skills will improve, and you will begin to understand cultural values. The choice of behavior options in most situations will become natural, and you will have new friends and habits. This will form a strong emotional attachment to the community, and love for Russia.
The following principles will help you gain a positive attitude, efficiency, desire to communicate and positively perceive everything new that you encounter in Russia.
How to adapt to a new country more easily?
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Get to know Russia before you arrive in the country. Encyclopedias, blogs, magazines, videos on almost any topic will help you form an image of the country and give you knowledge of the realities.
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Learn Russian, at least at an elementary level. Gain a better understanding of the culture and customs of the country, which will make your communication with Russians a lot easier.
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Make new friends. Join nearby clubs, groups or communities that match your interests. This way you’ll expand your social circle.
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Be social. Try to get to know the locals. Attend events, parks, cafes where you can meet people and make new acquaintances.
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Don’t hesitate to reach out to your diaspora for help. They can share their experiences and offer helpful advice.
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Don’t forget about your hobbies and pastimes. Do things you enjoy to keep a positive outlook on the world and avoid feeling lonely.
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Keep in touch with friends and family back home. Communication with loved ones will support you in hard times.
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Don’t forget about your health. Regular exercise, a healthy diet and adequate sleep will help you stay optimistic and feel better.
Everyone knows that adapting after moving to a new country is a process that takes time and patience. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help and support if you need it.
Visiting, holidays
Russians are a very hospitable nation, so don’t be surprised if very soon after you get to know someone you’ll find yourself visiting them for no reason or on family celebrations, such as a birthday party. Attending this event is a great opportunity to expand your circle of connections and learn more about Russian culture and traditions.
In Russia, it is customary to bring gifts, when someone invites you to a birthday party or another festive event. The gift depends on who it is intended for. Russians usually make such gifts, as flowers (for women), books, interior items, perfumes, electronic devices, and other useful stuff, as well as items related to the hobbies or interests of gift recipients. Children are given games, toys, and sports equipment as presents.
There is a proverb in Russia: “В чужой монастырь со своим уставом не ходят” (Do in Rome as the Romans do). It means that one should not impose one’s own rules and orders on another’s collective or society. Each country and community has a unique culture, traditions, and norms of behavior, and it is important to respect them and not try to impose your point of view. When interacting with others, it is important to be open to their rules and to behave in a way that is accepted in this group so that communication is friendly.
Rules of behavior at a birthday party
You need to arrive at the party on time. If the hosts are still preparing the room and setting the table, you may offer your help. When entering the house, you need to take off your shoes and leave them in the hallway, say hello, and thank the hosts for the invitation. The hosts will introduce you to the family and other guests. As a foreigner, you are likely to be the center of attention. Tell about yourself and your country if asked.
During the holiday in Russia it is customary to communicate with other guests, participate in games and competitions, dance and sing songs, eat and drink to the health of the birthday boy. It is common to offer congratulations and toasts to success, well-being and the fulfillment of wishes.
After the event, it’s important to thank hosts for their hospitality and leave on time. In Russia, it is not customary to stay long after the event is over, so as not to disturb the hosts to put their house in order. In general, attending a birthday party, as well as other family or personal celebrations, can help you fit into Russian society, provided you follow the rules of behavior.
Nonverbal elements of communication
Social distance
For psychological comfort, personal safety, and to prevent the spread of infections, it is necessary to maintain a distance between people. The distance depends on the closeness of your acquaintance, age, gender, social roles, and communication situation.
The figure shows the recommended distance in four communication situations.
The intimate area is the most protected area for us. Only the closest people are allowed to enter it: our children, parents, and lovers. The personal area represents the distance used in everyday interactions with friends and acquaintances.
The social area should be observed at formal events, negotiations, when meeting new people or talking to people whose status is higher than yours. Observing the social area in a business environment forms part of corporate culture and etiquette.
In addition, maintaining social distance is important in the following situations:
- In public places (stores, pharmacies, public transportation) where there may be large crowds of people.
- When attending cultural, sporting and other events.
Many may feel awkward when they are at a concert in a crowd of people, riding in an elevator, on an escalator, where it is difficult to maintain an acceptable distance. In such cases it is recommended not to start a conversation, if acquaintance is not in your plans. Even if you meet eyes, don’t stare point-blank, take a pose so that your movements and belongings don’t get in the way of those around you, try limit your emotions and voice volume.
The public area is the most comfortable, but it is not very common. For example, during public speaking, the speaker (lecturer) is at a considerable distance from the audience.
Gestures
Gestures play an important role in the communicative tradition of Russians. They can express a variety of emotions and feelings, as well as complement and enhance verbal communication. Russians are quite active in gesturing and expressing emotions with their face and body.
Same gestures, but different meanings
Russians are not the most emotional and gesticulating nation, but nevertheless gestures are widely used. You will see the following gestures on a daily basis:
Handshake
This is one of the most common gestures in Russia. It is used more often by men when meeting, saying goodbye and in other situations. A handshake can be strong or weak, depending on the context and relationships between people.
Shrug
This gesture expresses uncertainty, or unacquaintance, and may be accompanied by the words “I don’t know”, “I’m not sure”.
A pat on the shoulder
This is how we express support, comfort, or approval. Depending on the context, a pat on the shoulder can be soft or strong.
Smile
Smiling is a universal gesture for expressing joy, satisfaction or greeting. Depending on the situation a smile can be wide or restrained.
Hugs
This is how you greet a loved one, support or congratulate them.
Raising your eyebrows means surprise.
Rubbing the chin indicates that a person is thinking or pondering something.
Rubbing your palms helps to express anticipation or expectation of something pleasant.
All gestures, movements, actions with objects most Russians do with their right hand. The use of a left hand is rare, and typically means that the person is left-handed. The use of a left hand in gestures is not considered an offense. In Russia, we do not care much about which hand we use for gestures.
Rules of etiquette in Russia
You can study the peculiarities of the culture of communication in a country not only from books on etiquette and guidebooks. You can learn many rules of etiquette and behavior in ordinary everyday and work situations. When you are hired, you will definitely be given the opportunity to familiarize yourself with the internal labor regulations – this is a special regulatory document. When entering an elevator or transport, you will see bright information signs (text or pictures).
These are recommendations to keep things in order. Following them will help make the behavior more predictable and understandable.
In Russia, there are rules of etiquette that are meant for everyone, as well as rules that are meant only for women or men. They relate to interactions between members of different genders in public places. Read these rules, and try to stick to them.
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When meeting a woman at the cloakroom in any establishment or institution, a man should help her take off her outerwear, and also open the door, hold it and let the woman go first.
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In a restaurant or cafe, a man should also help a woman take off her outerwear and pull out a chair so she can sit down. The woman should wait for the man to do this.
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In public transportation, a man must give up his seat to a woman (as well as to elderly people and people with special health needs), a woman – only to elderly people and people with special health needs.
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In Russia smoking is prohibited in public places. Where smoking is allowed, smoking in the presence of women and children is still undesirable.
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When interacting with coworkers or business associates, men and women should act professionally and be friendly. You may call colleagues of equal or younger age by their first name, if they don’t mind it. Older colleagues are traditionally referred to by their first name and patronymic (if any).
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It is not acceptable to joke about sensitive topics, especially race, religion, gender, and someone’s appearance.
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Men and women should look neat and tidy, take care of hygiene and their appearance.
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You need to be on time for your appointments. It’s a sign of respect. On a romantic date, a woman can afford to be a little late, as an element of flirting. Serious delays require warning and apology.
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The choice of dishes on the menu and in most other situations is left to the woman to do first.
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The person who invited you usually pays for a meal in a cafe or restaurant. It’s best to stipulate this in advance. If this is not the case, you need to clarify before the calculation whether it will not offend your vis-a-vis.
Understanding mechanisms of adaptation in a new culture will help you get rid of the stress due to separation and nostalgia for home, and getting used to the host country. Interaction with the local community through visiting friends, and participating in festivities promotes successful integration and building important interpersonal connections. Pay attention to the use of language and nonverbal cues. This way you will feel more confident and will be able to maintain harmonious relationships with others.
Observing the rules of etiquette in communication, including those accepted between men and women, as well as common rules of behavior and safety will help you feel at home in Russia. You will establish yourself as a cultured and well-mannered person who respects the customs and values of the local community.
Instead of an afterword
Russia greets its guests with a variety of traditions, hospitality and amazing culture, which makes the stay in the country unforgettable and enriching. We invite you to discover Russia and make a fascinating journey into the history and today of our amazing country!